Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in angel_love1070's LiveJournal:

Thursday, November 11th, 2004
2:13 pm	Thought I sink into my chair with a heart filled with an emotion I am unsure of. I choose not to define it, but live in it for the time. I have just read of a story that touched my soul. A true story. I enjoyed it, delighted in it. It caused me to think, again. Ideas go rambeling through distracted minds. I stummble on life with an ache and desire. I touch the pettals and sit silently. I climb to the top of an empty tree to feel the wind caress my hair. The birds there ignore me and fly on I skip down every branch and cling to the future while looking back on the things that i know nothing about. Reaching for something not knowing what it is. Expecting a great appifany to bestow it's wisdome on me. And crying in frustration as it floats on a breeze just outside of my grasp. My lover, my love, pushing my hands to my throat to choke a reason from my swirling mind, a reason to a question I know nothing about. My lover I painfully desperately love and delight. This world eludes me in way's i never knew to be true. In search of a truth that no one can define. My beliefs ever changing in time with the steady beat of the rain in my mind. Current Mood: creative Current Music: Mary Tori Amos (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
3:28 pm	just another day It is just another day here at the old grind. I do not want to work!!! i want to go home, and be a housewife!!! i want to work on what i want to work on, and nothing else, and right now, i want to work on a nap. i am so tired right now!!! I had a great weekend with my wife and our children, we went to a festival in the park, and played, and watched movies, and did all the things i enjoy doing with our kids. This weekend we are supposed to go to the Penut Festival in Dothan, but I may have to work...ugh!!! I don't like when i make promises to my kids, and have to break them. It's not right!!! Stupid work!!! My newest venture, is to start a business planning commitment cerimonies! I know this idea is a little out there for most, but...I want to help the Gay/Lesbian community to have a special day with the one they intend to spend the rest of there lives with, no matter what the Govronment say's! I think the constitution say's something about the right to persue happiness, doesn't it? I want to help people persue there happiness!!!! Although some believe that it's only ok for heterosexuals to persue this happieness. Sounds like to me, they want to change it to where only a few people have the right to persue happieness. I wonder how the gun owners would feel if they couldn't go hunting, or shooting anymore, because they promote violence? Or how the independent baptist would feel if they were told they could no longer wear dresses, because there different? Or how women would feel if they could not vote, because it's a man's world. Or how blacks would feel if they couldn't get equal wages because well, there black? Hmmm...am I hitting home here? I'd like for anyone reading this to imagine, if you are hetero, imagine that your wife/husband/etc. were in the hospital, dieing, and his/her parents didn't like you, or approve of you, imagine you had been together for 10, 20, 30 or more years, and imagine that your spouses parents/children/whoever wouldn't let you see your dieing spouse, when all your loved one wanted to do was be with you, hold your hand, have your comfort, be with them as they pass on, imagine what you would do, how you would feel? How about this one, imagine you had lived with your best friend, you divorced your husband, and decided to never get married again. Just you, and your best friend, growing old together, shareing all the things in life that you would have a husband, or wife. Imagine your best friend, the one you have bought a house with, (it's in your friends name, because you had bad credit) you helped pay bill's, buy groceries, attend functions, etc. etc., and one day, your best freind dies, the house if willed to you, even though you have lived there for 40 years, and paid for half of it, you would have to pay taxes on it, because you are not family. But the children could have it, or if you had been a spouse could have it. Without the taxes. would that be right? Imagine a life where every day you are persecuted, or have to hide your love for husband/wife. You couldn't tell people about how much you are in love, or couldn't share the wonderfull things you did with them with co-workers. Imagine haveing to introduce your spouse as your freind, or room mate. How would your spouse feel? how would you feel? I can tell you, that I would never CHOOSE a life like that. It would be to hurtfull. But I live that life every day, because i am in love with a woman. One who has gotten me up early to go have birthday breakfast with me on my birthday!! (because she was to excited to sleep) she has nursed me when i was sick, she has held me when i cried, she has encouraged me when i was dicouraged, she has helped me to be a better person, stop stripping, doing drugs, helped me to recover from an abusive relationship. Every man I have been with has abused me in some way, shape, or form. I have yet to meet one that has known how to treat a woman with respect, and understanding. I am not bashing men, because i have friends that are men, and some of them are wonderful, and then i have men friends that I would never be in a relationship with because they are exactly the same as my x's. But they are friends none the less. But, why would I choose to be with anyone else than the one person in my life that has given me wings to fly? The one who has made me happy to live, the one who has truly loved me from the very start? Can you control your love? How, then, can I? (Comment on this)
Friday, November 5th, 2004
9:23 pm	lets try this again hello, again, I say again, because i typed out a whole entry yesterday, and just before I clicked the update journal button, my computer died, so... I'm not typing all that again, diferent day, different mood, different stuff. I'm going to get my babies in a few min. for the whole weekend. I'm realy excited about seeing them, I went to New Orleans last weekend and didn't get to see them. So, I miss them very very much. I don't know what to write today, I seem to have writers block. I got off of work early, and went to lunch with my wife and her co-workers, Mexican!!! Yum, one of my favorites. It got cold here today, for florida, in the low 70's upper 60's. And I have on shorts and a long sleeve sweater. Mostly because i have gained some weight lately, and none of my clothes fit. I'm going to the second hand shop to get some vintage jeans. See that sounds so much better than used clothes. Vintage clothing. I actualy like vintage clothing, being from the 80's and a product of hippies, today's fashions are just a little ...not me. well, that's all i want to write for today, I'll get into something more interesting when i feel more like writing. Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)